all but impossible

from WEAKNESS by Eris DeJarnett

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about

In the long run, this track is also going to have a tenor trombone option on it. However, I've been trying to write a version for the album since May, and it's now August; usually, when it's been that long, it means the version I have is the one I should be putting out. I don't think that's a bad thing. After all, making these fixed media tracks is one of my favorite parts of my practice!

But I also wanted to put it out into the world because it's a reminder to myself that things don't necessarily have to be perfect in the way I'd originally envisioned to be valuable and worthy additions to our musical space. I don't have to do this piece exactly like this for the rest of forever. My music can (and should, and will) keep evolving, but I am allowed (and encouraged) to love it for where it's at.

So, in the long run, tenor trombone. But, for now, just sit back and enjoy the rain.

(special note for all y'all sound artists: this track contains field recordings from Tempe, AZ; Denver, CO; and San Jose, CA, taken at various times in the past five years.)

lyrics

Somehow, I've never been afraid to love you. Maybe my heart's always known. Even when I saw your weird, your quirky, some part of me took notice and said, "that one. That one matters." And even when I couldn't let myself believe that, it was a beacon, a point without question.

Somehow, I've always known I should love you. Maybe your smile's always told me. Even when I saw your detached, your aloof, your cool, some corner of my heart perked up and said, "that one. That one belongs here." And even when it seemed all but impossible, it was a heartbeat, an insistent pulse I couldn't quite shake.

I'm not one for big declarations. I'm not one for promises I don't know I can keep. But you deserve worlds and planets, so I'll say this: I don't know if I believe in forever, but I believe in you.

Somehow, I've never been afraid to love you. Somehow, I've always known I should.

credits

from WEAKNESS, released September 4, 2020
Eris DeJarnett, everything

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Eris DeJarnett image

Eris DeJarnett Washington

Interdisciplinary narrative artist working with music, text, and movement currently based in the Pacific Northwest. I write a lot of music about relationships between people, both positive and traumatic. ey/they.
erisdejarnett.com ... more

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